How To Be A Skilled Small Talker (Interpersonal Communication Series) – Part 2

Question: What are some social and professional advantages of knowing how to make small talk? How can it help you become a better conversationalist? How can it help you widen your network and help you make more friends?

The reluctance against taking the first step arises from a misconception that public speaking or interpersonal communication skills are not necessary in the modern world and workplace. This cannot be farther than the truth – interpersonal communication skills feature as an extensive part of the modern workplace (boss-to-subordinate, peer-to-peer, provider-to-client).

First of all, becoming proficient in small talk improves social skills by enabling more seamless interactions and connections. Friends, coworkers, and even complete strangers can click better with you starting by striking up light-hearted discussions on uninteresting subjects like the weather, hobbies, or current affairs (e.g. the company’s new work-from-home policy). One’s likeability and social status can be improved by having the ability to strike up and maintain small chat.

Advantage number 2? Being able to strike up a conversation with ease is one of the keys to developing new business relationships and improving one’s career. Professionals may make a good first impression (and we know that you can only make a first impression ONCE), show off their interpersonal skills & charisma, and exhibit interest in others through casual chats. This could lead to new opportunities, collaborations, or mentorships!

Third advantage: In networking sessions that are multi-cultural? Small talks allow you to side-step cultural differences/ faux pas at the nascent stage of the conversation. People can start small talk subjects (to establish some commonalities first) and work their way up to more substantive conversations about things specific to cultural differences. Think about this – even when cultures are different, common experiences about the weather, parenting, health signals, and common hobbies are usually pretty similar, isn’t it? After the initial foundation set by the small talk, you can delve into more in-depth, insightful discussions. This slow process builds trust and creates the groundwork for fruitful communication, teamwork, and information exchange.

Lastly, and most importantly, knowing how to make small talks develops your ability to deliver complex ideas in a coherent, concise and compelling manner to any audience. During small talks, you don’t have the luxury of whipping out presentation slides to help the other party visualise, and you don’t have the luxury of time (it’s not a presentation with a stipulated duration; the other party may just leave in a whim). Techniques used in small talks can:

1) create a conducive environment for the other party to feel safe to share with you more,

e.g. using open-ended questions such as “How did that make you feel?”, instead of “That must be unpleasant for you right?” – which can only be followed by a “Yes/ No” and the conversational flow ends there. The best questions are those that provide context for the other person to answer, such as “What were your greatest holiday/ relaxation/ weekend rituals?” as opposed to broad inquiries like “How are you?”

2) create a neutral and collaborative conversational setting

e.g. instead of being acrimonious and disagree outrightly, keep the conversation open to opposing views without hurting the feelings of the other party with a curt “No, that’s wrong.”. Instead, reply with “I see, I hear your view, at the same time, there’s also another view that…”

– How do you engage in small talk with sincerity and authenticity? It’s one thing to talk about random things with someone but how do you come across as genuinely interested in the conversation?

3) create lasting “top-of-the-mind” impression of you

e.g. when faced with the question “What do you do?”, instead of replying “I am so-and-so, I work for ABCideas Agency.”, frame yourself as a solution-provider by replying “I help companies devise digital marketing solutions for their products and brand using both ‘push’ and ‘pull’ advertising such as sponsored ads and SEO respectively.”. The next time the other party requires any digital marketing solutions, you will be the on the top of his/ her mind.

Stay tuned for Part 3 in which we share tips with regard to the question: “How do you engage in small talk with sincerity and authenticity? It’s one thing to talk about random things with someone but how do you come across as genuinely interested in the conversation?”