How to Speak Persuasively & Sway Minds | Effective Communication Skills

Persuasive speaking is one of our clients, students, enquirers’ more popular objectives. Almost everybody aspires to be the person who can persuade a group of people or a sizeable audience to accept their viewpoints or their product. It is easy to understand why. In 2019, persuasiveness is quickly becoming into a specialized area of public speaking and communication abilities that modern businesses value. For instance, “Persuasion” was ranked as one of the top soft skills that firms would require in 2019 by a LinkedIn study that used their clientele data, who are mainly recruitment agencies, companies ranging from SMEs to MNCs.

Setting aside these figures, the ability to persuade is still incredibly important in both professional and casual settings (can you convince someone to give you a for-you-only 10% discount, for example? Or advocate your cause?). It is also a skill that is appealing to invest time and attention in acquiring because of its applicability and versatility. Yes, it requires time and practice (the right way) to master the art of persuasion.

This comes from personal experience…I used to be a very shy individual with a limiting belief that one is either born good in speaking or bad at it. Just getting words out of my mouth was tough, let alone having the other party/ audience be convinced or persuaded!

Hilariously, I conversely persuaded and conditioned myself to think that speaking persuasively and communicating charismatically was not my calling. Every time I had to speak or go on stage, I would be so terrified of the experience that watching the audience’s reactions would make me feel absolutely horrible about myself.

Yet, how was I able to go from zero confidence to total confidence in public speaking? I went from being a student with very low self-esteem to becoming the first South-East Asian to clinch the coveted World Champion of Public Speaking title in 2016 and had already written a best-selling book “Express to Impress” in 2012 when I was 22. I even represented Singapore to compete in the International Negotiation Competition 2014 and graduated with a Bachelor and Master of Laws from the National University of Singapore, essentially speaking and arguing for a living!

image of my days as a lawyer outside the supreme court

If I can do it, you can do it as well! And I am going to help you along your way to be a persuasive speaker (ps: check out a quick video about ‘my story’)!

So how do you augment your persuasive edge? The goal of persuasion is not to appear theatrical or dramatic (in a sense, highly energetic and highly animated when it comes to promoting one’s idea or product/ service). As obvious as that may seem, a lot of our students begin with the false belief that they lack the “drama skills” or “gift of the gab” necessary to be an effective and compelling speaker. Persuasion is actually an extension of core public speaking or communications making abilities; it makes sure that you are a convincing speaker with meaningful content, not merely a showman.

Before we even begin delineating the tips for the art of persuasion, we first need to distinguish between the types of persuasive scenarios: 1) fleeting and 2) relationship-potential. The key difference is this – “Is there time for in-depth discovery of reservations and deep rapport-building?”/ “Will there still be a chance to further the persuasion/ influence process or interact again in the future?”.

Truth be told, ‘fleeting’ type persuasive scenarios are the tougher ones because of how it limits the room to manoeuvre, establish rapport, and set things up for the future interactions. Take for example, haggling over a merchandise at a flea market or a hawker stall – there is no chance & time for you and the seller/ stall owner to know each other better, and the potential transaction is probably a once-off only. This disincentives the seller to cut you a better deal, no matter how many persuasive speaking techniques you hurl at him/her. On the other hand, ‘relationship-potential’ type of persuasive scenarios allow time and opportunity to understand the pain points and reservations of the other party, and knowing that a longer-term business collaboration is potentially viable – these incentivise both sides to engage in constructive negotiations and allow more room for persuasive manoeuvres.

For ‘Fleeting’ type persuasive scenarios

Sometimes, it is easier to demonstrate how persuasion works rather than talking or writing about it – check out my TV feature on a Channel News Asia (CNA / CNA Insider) show called – Nudge – Part 3: Nudges To Sway Minds

image of darren tay featuring on cna tv show as an expert on persuasion

WATCH the video here: https://youtu.be/4cHGL4tcUek

This 5-part series uncovers the invisible forces behind our choices through the lens of some of our most long drawn struggles. In this episode, I join the show’s host, Jason Lai, on a journey to find out how neuroscience, storytelling, psychology are key to swaying minds.

Tip #1: ‘Flash rapport-building’

The only difference is the speed as to which rapport can be build. For such fleeting scenarios (bargaining at a flea market or store), one does not have the luxury to do in-depth discovery of similarities, pain points or leverage. The trick is to quickly home in on 1 or 2 commonalities to establish ‘likeness’ – because ultimately, we often like people who are like us. You see the stall owner/ prospect wearing, say, a memorabilia of a sports team (e.g. Manchester United), and you can establish ‘likeness’ quickly by saying “Hey, same tribe here, the 3-goal comeback from 2-nil down against Aston Villa last night was exhilarating!”. Check out the video above to see it being deployed!

Tip #2: Reframing the point of objection

New York Times Bestselling Author of Influence and Pre-Suasion Dr. Robert Cialdini posits that by reframing what the other party’s point of objection, it will massively boost your persuasive effect. For example, imagine a scenario where a course consultant is trying to convince a prospect to enrol in a public speaking / presentation skills training course. The prospect’s point of contention/ objection centres around the cost/ program fee (in his/ her mind, it’s all about parting with his/ her money.). Through reframing, by saying “Give yourself the chance, invest in yourself to upskill and strengthen your employability.”. Now, it’s certainly harder to say no to “betterment of oneself” – who wouldn’t want that?

For ‘Relationship-potential’ type persuasive scenarios

Tip #1: Be direct and uncomplicated. Nobody Enjoys a Difficult Treasure Map

I’ve seen a lot of speakers who prefer to fill their speeches with technical, sophisticated phrases in an effort to sound credible. This is not the impact at all. The persuasion process cannot begin if the people in your audience do not comprehend what you are saying. Speeches that are clear-cut, concise, and plain tend to hold my attention. These are the speeches that give me a detailed outline of how to follow each section, making it easier for me to follow along and not get lost in the speech’s flow.

GIF of someone explaining a complex web of details, complicating things

“Ok…you’ve lost me…” – Your Audience

To begin doing this, go over your speech or presentation script and identify the key points in order to begin. Usually, the topic assertions in the speech’s major body serve as these main themes. These topic statements, when taken out and divided, will create your basic logical flow, which you may check for consistency. The test is straightforward: your speech’s total impact should be as evident as its skeleton logical flow. You are providing your audience with a treasure map through your speech, and nobody enjoys a convoluted treasure map.

Tip #2: Make Yourself Relevant and Give Them a Reason to Pay Attention

GIF of someone asking repeatedly WHY WHY WHY

(continue)…should I listen?!” – Your Audience

Give your audience a cause or an incentive to pay attention to your speech or message. This does not entail flaunting your qualifications or accomplishments. Rather, take a more audience-focused approach by presenting your speech as a fix for a common issue. For example, highlight the pertinent “Why?” to your message rather than putting the message or product you are selling at the beginning. By doing this, you begin by determining and immediately meeting the demands of your audience.

Keeping your listeners interested during your speech is a crucial component of persuasion. This necessitates genuine audience participation by pushing them to consider and assimilate your content critically. Giving people a cause to value the message of your speech is your ultimate objective.

Tip #3: Use a Variety of Voices to Highlight Points with Volume, Tempo, and Tone

When giving a convincing speech, you don’t have to be overly dramatic, but experimenting with your pauses, volume, and even pace will assist make your point. Instead of aiming for the extremes, your goal should be to skilfully transition between them. A little pause before a crucial phrase or message, for instance, brings the audience’s attention back to you. They’ll be anticipating your message and waiting!

Emphasis is particularly useful for your topic statements or a succinct catchphrase for the audience to buy into. You’ll be shocked at how quickly you can get the audience to like you just by changing your tone, speed, and loudness.

GIF of a person practicing a range of vocals

*** In our case, vocal variety is not for crooning…but to make your audience swoon over what you said 😉 ***

image of infographics detailing three core elements of the art of persuasion

Bonus! Tip #4: Build rapport with your audience (make the other party go “Though opposing, but he understands where I’m coming from”)

Understanding and fulfilling the underlying needs of your audience is make or break for your persuasive speech (be it business presentation, investment pitch, interview, interpersonal conversation, debate etc.). Put aside those who are intellectually obstinate, those who at least open-minded enough to be persuaded want to be convinced by someone who understands them, and the only way that to do so is to establish a connection between the speaker and the audience, almost tangible. Only when a strategic trust has been established – in other words, your audience go “Ah-ha, he/ she knows what I’m going through, experienced my existing issues before, I believe that I can trust what he/ she has to offer” – then your speech messages can be effectively conveyed and readily accepted.

Here’s a way that you can achieve those “Ah-ha” moments:

Using Rhetorical Questions To Jolt Your Audience’s Minds Open – Allow me to illustrate this concept. I was once invited to be a keynote speaker for a banking institution’s gala dinner which was attended by employees of all ranks (both managerial and executives). Of course, before the event, I had managed to glean attendees’ opinions and comments through my questionnaires (my usual practice) and from which I got to understand their underlying needs. The general vibe that I felt was that, despite the company’s stellar performance for that year, the employees felt that the workload was substantial (something that I can endear myself to). During my speech, I touched on the topic of stress management and I used a rhetorical question: “Nowadays, we have to collate mountains of data, file tons of paperwork, churn out scores of reports, attend countless meetings and still have to squeeze time out for networking events…Who do we think we are, six-legged and three-headed robots?!”. Now put aside the laughter elicited, I realised that such short-and-sweet rhetoric can jolt your audience into a momentary yet focused reflection of the meaning behind it. If consensus can be developed around the message, an instant rapport can be established which usually manifests itself in the form of heads nodding or the upward curving of one side of the lips.

Bonus! Tip #5: Choice of words, at the right time, can give your persuasive speech more teeth!

Using strong action words (i.e. strong verbs, modal verbs, qualifiers, preposition, time) together with what we just mentioned about vocal tonality, will amplify your persuasive prowess! Verbs give persuasive speeches/ messages more credibility and ‘pull’ factor.

Legendary advertising executive Leo Burnet once said, “The excessive use of adjectives leads to dull and exaggerated ad copy.”He instructed his employees to compare the amount of adjectives in 62 unsuccessful advertisements to the amount of adjectives in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and other timeless speeches in order to substantiate his claim.

This is what he found out:

24.1% of the 12,758 words in the 62 unsuccessful advertisements were adjectives.In direct contrast, there are just 35 adjectives altogether out of 268 classic words in Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, or 13.1% of all words.Even worse, Winston Churchill’s well-known “Blood, Sweat, and Tears” speech has an adjective ratio of 12.1% (81 adjectives out of 667 words).Burnett discovered that the preamble to the United States Constitution, the Ten Commandments, and the Lord’s Prayer all have comparable ratios.

In summary, employ more verbs rather than adjectives.

Imagine a scenario where I am trying to convince you to eat healthier foods, saying:

“Have a different diet and do it now, so that you can get your weight-loss goals faster”.

Sounds pretty flat and lacking, isn’t it?

Try saying – “Let’s REFRESH our eating habits, and IMPLEMENT the NEW diets now so that we can ACCELERATE towards our weight-loss goals”.

The impact from using strong verbs + vocal emphasis is superior, isn’t it?

Keep honing your Persuasion skills!

Of course, persuasion is difficult in practice even though it seems appealing in principle. You are certain to run upon a dull or unresponsive crowd in your quest to find the magic formula. Overcome these obstacles, rethink your approach, and revitalize your presentation on your subsequent try. These three pointers can just help you ace that important boardroom or business presentation!