How To Break Out Of Your Comfort Zone – For Shy Budding Presenters/ Speakers
“Are you satisfied with the level you’re at now?” – this genuine and thought-provoking question plunged the then 18-year-old me into a deep self-reflection, “Can I be better?”. Back then, I was a budding speaker, very much contented with the occasional gigs such as being master of ceremonies and debate coach for schools. After one particular hosting gig, the event planner first broached the abovementioned suggestion to me and got me thinking –
1) how can I find a safe place to make mistakes and hone my oratorical skills,
2) how can I keep alive a steadfast desire for self-improvement and growth,
3) how can I achieve breakthroughs and expand my comfort zone
12 years on, here’s what I’ve gleaned:
As taught by my mentor to always adhere to the “Power of Three”, I wish to share with you three tips – namely 1) Surrounding yourself with positive energy, 2) Never settle for mediocrity & 3) Set your priorities right – to consistently achieve public speaking breakthroughs and attain personal growth!
Tip #1: Surrounding yourself with positive energy
Speakers’ clubs or public speaking courses are diverse and vibrant ecosystems of like-minded individuals with a penchant for effective communication and leadership skills development. That’s why they are there in the same classroom/ club with you!
Like ANY organization, it is not perfect as epitomized by my encounter with a less than constructive evaluation of my speech – “Your vocal variety sucks.”. The lesson learnt is “How am I, without any hasty and biased generalization, going to make the best of the situation?”; such individuals form the minority, with the majority being supportive, encouraging and inspiring. Find them! It could free-to-join speakers’ clubs or paid public speaking courses for adults; it’s about taking action and immerse yourself in such a learning environment. Surround yourself with peers who build each other up without demanding anything in return. They are there to learn just like you. Bounce ideas off each other. Understand communication nuances in different professions. It can be life-changing.
Tip #2: Never settle for mediocrity
“Every expert started out as a newbie” – speakers’ clubs or public speaking courses provide the ideal platform to hone your speaking and leadership skills as reflected from my experience where I was given a standing ovation EVEN after delivering my maiden and much-to-be-improved speech. Truly unforgettable! Lesson learnt: Don’t be afraid of stumbling (for e.g. fluffing your lines during practices, caught with a catch in your throat when you’re verbally interacting with your trainer or peers etc.), fret not, we all get better after the mistakes. Instead, be afraid of standing on the same spot while watching learning opportunities slip through your fingers.
Tip #3: Set your priorities right
High-stakes corporate presentations or investment pitches are not the only avenues for you to seek improvement; even small group briefing, team meetings, interpersonal communication settings are avenues for you to apply public speaking techniques that you’ve learnt and refine them. My point is, regardless of your aspirations in public speaking (taking on the big stage for example, 1000, 2000 strong crowd etc.), always value small victories, because “When you win small, you will want to win more!”.
Always envision yourself taking it to a higher level. That’s actually priority number two. What is number one then? Your audience. This is something I have learnt from my mentor, Ed Tate; when you place your audience at your top priority, delivering value to the best of your abilities either as a speaker or a leader, you have truly become a true champion.
Here’s a backstage secret: How I compose myself with proper self-talk
Who else wants to strut onto the stage whenever being called upon to do a presentation abruptly, buzzing with energy, chest pumped with vim and vigour and deliver an impromptu speech? Easier said than done. Where is the positive reinforcement; self-talk such as “you can do it”, “you’re not going to fluff your lines” or worse “I’m going to run out of things to say, rendered speechless with judgemental eyes all fixated on me!”. Would you like to be the one to go against the common social phobia called public speaking anxiety (PSA) or prove the phrase “The one thing worse than death…public speaking” wrong? The idea of engaging in self-talk is not wrong, in fact, it is encouraged. The secret is HOW to self-talk your way to effective stage confidence!
Feeling anxious about speaking in public is a common experience for many individuals. According to a randomised telephone survey done in 1996 in Manitoba, it affects as many as 30% of community samples surveyed, ranging from mild anxiety to crippling and impairing anxiety such as acute trembling of the body and prolonged shortness of breath. More importantly, the greater the public speaking anxiety, the more frequent the self-talk would be and the more self-critical it would be.
How to enjoy the benefits of self-talk then?
Firstly, instead of reinforcing “I will not fluff my lines.”, “My mind will not go blank.” and “I will not shake uncontrollably” (because the more you say “I WILL NOT…”, the higher the likelihood that you “WILL” do it), self-assure yourself with positive aspects such as “After this sharing, my audience will learn something new”, “more importantly, I will be able to convey my core message” and “I am going to enjoy expressing to impress”.
Secondly, focus your self-talk in the following set-up: attract-inform-impress; in other words, begin calm, grow warm and end positively high. Tell yourself that attraction is in the bag as once you take centre stage, you have already garnered all the attention, no effort needed!
Next, tell yourself you are the expert on the topic you’re speaking about; you know your own stories or information best!
Lastly, believe in your inner wisdom and never be overly critical on the specific aspects of the speech/ presentation or performance, instead, tell yourself to enjoy value-adding to your audience, even if it is just one single audience member out there in the sea of faces!
Watch Our YouTube Video on “Self Talk Your Way Out Of Stage Anxiety, Eliminate Your Fear Of Public Speaking”
You, taking the time to read till this far, is the reason why Public Speaking Academy is not going to slow down one bit in our mission to help enhance our students’ public speaking abilities so that they can present with competence, clarity and confidence! We cherish your time.
Let us help you expand the size of your comfort zone today!
For more about Public Speaking Courses for Kids/ Children:
https://publicspeakingacademy.com.sg/group-classes-students-age-9-18/
For more about Public Speaking Courses for Adults:
https://publicspeakingacademy.com.sg/courses-and-programs/group-classes-for-adults/
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